Dear First Love,

There's a lot to say, really. I don't know where to start. So, maybe I'll start by thanking you for everything. You made me strong, you showed me what's real and what isn't when it comes to love, you changed me, you made me feel loved.

        I liked many others before you. But there was something in what we had that made me distinguish love from all the other things I've felt before. Everything with you was different. The sparks, the butterflies, the heartbeats, everything. Whenever I'm with you, the entire world comes to a blur, and you're suddenly the only thing that feels right. I was willing to give you everything, because I was confident enough to say that you were willing to do the same too.

        But you weren't. Everyone else around me says that I should stop whatever I'm feeling for you. They told me that you're not the right person, that you don't deserve everything I give you and was about to give to you. But love has blinded me into thinking that all of them are wrong, and you're the only one that's right. A few years after, I realized that they were right. I should've known this earlier, but that's the thing about love. You can't control when you start and stop loving someone, you just do. 

        I've given you a hundred chances, when you left me 99 times. I always knew that you would come back eventually, and you did. About 99 times. No matter how many times you leave, you'll always come back to me, that's the way I always looked at things. Never did I imagine that all of my fantasies were just a game to you. You always came back to me because you were bored, you had no one to talk to, or maybe the other girls you flirted with weren't there and I was the only one available.

        I wasted two years of my life for someone who just treated me as an addition to a collection, and you have no idea how much that hurt. It was the 22nd of October, three years ago, when I told you I had enough. It hurt to say goodbye to you, but I knew it was the right thing to do. You said you're sorry, about 99 times, and never did I tell you that it's okay, because it isn't. I could never forgive you for all the things you did to me, but I am thanking you. Because if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be the person I am now. I could've been weaker if it wasn't for you. So thank you for not being the perfect first love, you taught me a lot.

        I saw you with her the other day, and you were different. Your smile, your laugh, the way you looked at her. It was more real. She was the girl I've always dreamt to be three years ago, the girl that would change you, and make you a better person. But now I'm happy that it wasn't me, because I know I deserve a whole lot better.