damaged + damaged

I'm so tired of fixing people

I'm so tired of reminding them to keep their shit together. Because lately I've been feeling like I'm not allowed to make mistakes anymore, because I'm always the prim one. Eventually I will crash and fall down, unless I push people away.

I can't afford to be around damaged people anymore. Because I'm so fucking damaged as well. Who's going to bring the balance if we're both fuck-ups? We're just going to fall apart even more. Best I just push those people away, those who I know are bad for me.

I feel like rubbish cloth. I've been used a million times but at the end of the day, I'm gonna be picked up for cleaning. No one could ever love me if I stay like this.

I'm tired of fixing people because I think deep inside, I'm more shit crazy than them.

I need to feel alive. I don't need a person. I just need some space. Some time for myself. I don't need fixing. I just don't want to be the one who always does it. I don't need to be alone. I just need people to keep their distance. I just want to feel as if someone really gives a shit about me. Because when you want people to stay, doesn't mean you care about them. Most of the time it's because you just need someone to be there for you.

Because while I was too busy keeping your shit together, you didn't even care to caress my debris. I want you to know that you're the reason why I'm like this.