Bitchcraft Mascara

This is actually the speech I made for our SpeechComm finals and I just decided to post it here because... I barely write now. Yeah, sad, I know.

Today I have with me, this mascara. The very same mascara that I used when my first love broke the living shit out of my heart. The very same mascara I was wearing when my dream university's exam results came out. The very same mascara I was wearing when I was called a bitch at our family reunion. Ironic, right? All those shitty moments, and I was wearing the same mascara. But no, it's not a coincidence. It's to keep me from crying. Because you don’t just waste your 2 hour effort of putting on makeup like that.

In my 18 years of existence, I’ve lived a pretty rough life. I’ve had people here and there that would occasionally tell me I’m ugly, I’m stupid, I’m fat, I’m a loser. Back then the most precise thing I probably would’ve done is look at the mirror and let their opinions sink in, eat me from the inside and say they’re probably right, then I blame myself for being such a shameful human being. But don’t we all have that fairy godmother that will always tell us that everything’s gonna be fine, that you’re a beautiful young lady that everyone just seems to misinterpret? That fairy godmother that most of you refer to as “mom”. Well, my awesome fairy godmother told me to start being a lady and toughen up. She told me I’m not pretty. She told me I’m beautiful. She didn’t wipe my tears. She told me to stop crying. And from that moment on, I became the best version of myself.

Because a branded, 1,500 peso mascara, is not for a crying mess like you and me. You don't wanna ruin a good mascara just because of your petty little problems brought to you by petty little people, NO. They are NOT worth ruining your makeup, NO. They are NOT worth wasting your branded mascara, NO. What they deserve, is the agony of looking at your drop dead gorgeous resting bitch face that will prove to them that they are NOT WORTH YOUR TIME. So what if they think you're weak or a bitch? Put them in their places and don't you dare go down on their level. Because trust me, you don't wanna be that kind of girl.

The kind of girl you'd want to be is the kind that never lets anyone judge her, or tell her that she's lower than she is. The kind of girl that doesn't need saving, the kind that doesn't need a prince charming to have a happy ending. Oh, you're a princess? Then bow down because I'm the queen bitch! All those people talking behind your back, ignore them! They're behind you for a reason. I learned that in life, to get someone’s attention, you have stop giving them yours.

So don’t tell me that there are many rocks in the sea, because I deserve a purple crystal. Now that I know my self-worth, I am never lettling for less. I am never going back to being that girl who keeps herself locked up in insecurities and meaningless opinions. I am never going back to that girl who wastes a good amount of mascara by letting it drizzle down her face, letting other people know her weaknesses and inner demons. 

Being confident doesn’t mean that we think so highly of ourselves. It only means that we’re smart enough to filter out unimportant opinions that could possibly kill our self-esteem, and only leave those details we need to hear to make ourselves better. Being confident doesn’t mean killing all your demons, it just means that we’re good enough in hiding them from the people that will judge us for it, and being smart enough to reveal them to those that will care and make an effort to heal them.

Today I have with me, this mascara. The very same mascara that I used when my first love broke the living shit out of my heart. But I smiled. Screw him! I'm a whole lot better than the girl I'll be if I still keep on chasing jerks like him. So go on and wear those killer heels, pop that red lipstick, and put on that expensive ass mascara that's worth more than everybody else. Walk all over them with your head up high, because they would kill to see you fall.